Think

‘I’m going to the coffee shop to sit, and think strange thoughts’

‘Yeah I get that’

Not I get that like catching a cold or pain in an arthritic joint,

But ‘I get that’

21.6.13 edit

Journeys

Pass the reproductive monogamous swan pairing and golf course deals getting done
Tunnel darkness descends, brief then bursting into sun
Pain of injection over in a moment, still it hurts, too many and for too long.
Burst my eardrums AKG
come on, come on, let me free

NHS

I liked Preston because there were ducks,
Leeds was gothic art and decay, thieving plant cuttings, bad coffee and hall of fame medic photos that made sense once.
Hurry before demolition, conversion and the end of the NHS
Burnley oh rolling rr's over Lancashire women's work, grumpy no kudos neurology, overworked disrespect and parking anger.

Spring

Spring screech will tell me an old story while I comfort search a new blue backdrop for a glimpse.
None to see but tune in to something,
It's ok they're here, they're here.

Subterranean

Underground anger breaks a surface,
sulphuric bubbles bursting into air
with a calming wake, while
background dream crashes a car and wants to fuck you really bad through grief and rage,
different scores settle off target misdirections.
Your written intentions reflect and tear,
journeys of comfort and tears.
A song with someone to touch you just so, to see you.

Morning reliability

Moonset glide across morning winter sky,
streetlight pollutant bleed fade out, one by one from shadows.
Clean, silver grey and
birdsong determination calls an early dawn in relentless, inevitable comfort of a new day.

Window

Clouds and tears mist a horizon where
pink line scorch splits a diagonal and moves on.
Each morning story is one precious page in a book with no repeats.

Travel

Wetland shine chases tears over harsh ground,
Outrun latent loss before a storm broke
It wasn't in us,
cry, cry, cry a wounded landscape, write it well.

It's cold and the station stinks of piss and trouble.

Season

Seasonal confusion trips me up on the front step.
Unsentimental wind pushes my feet from under an unsentimental sky
Me and the cat are both enjoying a change of view
I run the childhood poems through my head as November's March winds allow me change unpredicted, unknown, unforeseen, unable, disabled.

Flat

Flatland skylines broaden a blue line,
possibility weakens under a race to hold on.

Heron heads home to upriver renewal, lucky heron.

Leaves

An accidental redemptive solution pulls a car off a tree stump forty years after the square inch patches of hair pulled from my scalp smarted into auditorium darkness with no escape before the end of the film, but then I did escape from frying pan to fire, a decade on and a chink of light drew me from the underworld. Today I'm learning not to drink poison when I'm thirsty or eat shit when I'm hungry.

Warmth

What season do owls come out to circle and screech?

I don't remember which hospital, which shift, institutional food dished out warmth to a peachy overall clad misfit

I don't mind sitting in old lady piss in the accessible toilet,
Slight droplet splash her daughter didn't catch on a hurried wipe round before manoeuvring the awkward hospital wheelchair round the awkward toilet door.

Slippy

ha ha look rough, must address lighting issues!

Resource

What gets passed on? resources run down to nothing in
a tough season with nothing left to build on.
I smashed up a motorbike then gave it away to a friend, my injuries stayed with me but we all loved that bike, chrome and speed in a child's drawing of who I am,
ancestors we passed on, but something stood out, I am, I am.
Out of sight pairings, was it first come first served,
subtle unseen distinctions of feather and flight path.
My cat rolls in pleasure at the top of the stairs, growling in territorial marks later, he moved on.

Time

The toxic addictions break down to wasted time,
leave languid limbs wrestling with the season.
Me, I cry in bed in the morning,
when you get to your forties there's always someone you care about dying of cancer.